This blog is on the last 2 of the 6 myths about grieving, and then we will move from grief to recovery. These last two myths are also intertwined with the previous myths, 1. Don’t Be Sad, 2. Replacing the Loss, 3. Grieve Alone and 4. Be Strong. Myth number 5 is Keep Busy and myth number 6 is Time will heal all wounds.
Many times people think or have been told if they keep busy, the pain will go away. There are a couple of problems with this. If a person stays busy to keep from feeling the pain, the pain may be buried, but it is still there. Each time it tries to surface, the person would try to keep up a frantic pace to keep the pain pushed back down. This can be exhausting and not very helpful. If a person, especially a child, is normally busy and keeps up his/her normal productive level, there is nothing wrong with that. There is also nothing wrong with slowing down and feeling the loss and recognizing what those changes mean.
As far as time will heal all wounds, it is true that mourning or working through grieve is going to take time. It is not something that can be instantaneous, but hoping to keep busy enough until the time has passed will not bypass the action that must be taking to resolve the grief. It is also important to remember that each person we lose in our life is connected to us in a unique and individual relationship. There is no determined or set time to realize someone is missing, feel the pain because he/she is missing, figuring out what life means without this person and then finding a way to remember and honor your loved one while moving forward with your life.
Many times a child may repeat the same idea over and over again. This may mean the child does not yet feel they have been heard. It is important to listen to and acknowledge the feelings a child expresses, and remember that a lot of times a child will copy what others are doing to cope with the loss.
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American Fork Chapel
49 East 100 North
American Fork, UT 84003
Lone Peak Chapel
6141 West 11000 North
Highland, UT 84003