"Please don’t fuss over me when I die." I have heard many people tell me that they do not want their family to have services and “make a fuss over them.” I can see people thinking about themselves in the casket and not wanting others see them when they are not at their best. I mean who looks their best when they are dead, right? Well, to those of you who are nodding your head right now, you are missing the point.
The viewing, funeral and memorial service are for those that are left behind. There is something very real about viewing the person that has passed away. It helps to start the journey of the grieving process. There is something very innate in our human make up that needs to recognize and celebrate a life. For evidence of this, I cite the story of a community that came together and donated their time and services to honor the life of a newborn baby that was found abandoned. http://7online.com/news/memorial-service-held-for-newborn-found-dead-in-new-jersey-dump-/666384/.
The memorial service is the way to acknowledge that life is meaningful and the person made a difference in our lives. It is a way to share stories and hear new stories from others we did not know about. It is a way to acknowledge we will miss the one we love, and the community also feels the loss. It is a way to see how many lives were touched by an individual. It helps to start the grief journey because the first step in the journey is denial. The memorial service makes a person face that a death has occurred.
I attended a few funerals prior to my grandfather’s death. I thought I knew what I needed to do to grieve his loss when he passed away while I was in Argentina on my mission and could not return home for his funeral. I thought I had sufficiently grieved and moved on. When I came home and was visiting my grandmother I found myself subconsciously looking to find my grandfather. I remember catching myself and thinking that’s odd; I know he has passed away. This happened to me on several occasions. It took me a while not to look for him. I never had this reaction before, and I have not had it since. I am very convinced that there is something in the viewing and funeral service that helps on a subconscious level to accept the death of a loved one, and it is needed to move forward.
American Fork Chapel
49 East 100 North
American Fork, UT 84003
Lone Peak Chapel
6141 West 11000 North
Highland, UT 84003